Others Worse Off than Me. Give Thanks
2017 came in quietly in my neighbourhood save for the faint sounds outside of fireworks going off in the distance. I thought to myself the exuberance of New Years past was more louder and jolly but it seems and this is just my own perception; people don't seem to have that much hope left in them to celebrate this time of year as before. Too quiet.
Turned off the lights and began to settle down as best as I could. Not that easy when you have a big heavy splint holding your entire arm in the bent and in frustration trying to adjust its straps to bring some comfort from the aches that follow. My life is right now on a temporary restricted hold. No more job hunting, that's on hold. Even trying to pull up my trousers or to tie my shoe laces..worse even, to take a shower is an effort itself..peeling off the splint, then putting on a sling so my sick arm stays put while I get cleaned up.things that were taken for granted..a piece of cake..I remind myself every day that I am coming out of this and soon with patience this splint would be off and back to normal.
Even through all this I am not going to complain. No, it could've been worse.
Sometimes when I lose heart..funny how He comes in with just the right reminder to not lose faith. I just love that about Him.Always on time. His time, not mine. He would put someone in my path that has experienced a more worse fate than me. And I am reminded how blessed my life is. One incident that left me humbled out of the encounter was on a day when I went to do my weekly grocery shopping accompanied by my youngest son. It was soon after my surgery. My arm was was encased in a heavy plastered cast. I couldn't bear to remain another day indoors. I had to get out..even though, I wasn't that useful to my poor son who did all the lifting and bagging at the cash register. It was still good to be outside. That morning I was having one of those weak times...the why me's. As we walked through the entrance of the supermarket. There stood this big middle aged guy leaning against the vegetable shelf right there straight ahead of me..wearing a sling and a cast....right away we made eye contact acknowledging each other's disposition. Immediately we talked briefly exchanging accounts of our injuries and I was right away humbled in myself to hear his story..both his shoulders in pain one broken and the other had some kind of problem with the joints...he has had many surgeries and constant pain day and night..(Oh shyte!!)
And I thought that I had it bad!! A little chip broken off, a pin and plate and re aligned tendons.
So humbling...this happened a few times. Not the same person..just others. You meet all sorts in that physical therapy room at the hospital and even learn humbly to give thanks and change your prayer mode. Not for self but for others who are worse off than you. I haven't really asked Jesus to heal me all the time. Just once I think, and I know that I was heard.. had the sense in my spirit that I have to go through this. And His strength keeps me and holds me as I walk through this journey. There has been a lot of lessons learnt in the process. And I am thankful to Him for it all. I have even learnt to pray for my attacker.
I know the expected route was to go report my assaulter. But when I was praying about it, I was convinced that I heard clearly...''Leave him to Me. You have a choice, go to man or trust Me.''
He opened my eyes and I had a picture of the man who violently pushed me to fall and break my elbow. I see the back of him running and screaming with his hands stopping up his ears. It is dark like he running down a dark tunnel. Right over him with large torn bat like wings were four creatures. They were devils. And they were harassing and tormenting him, tearing at him as he ran trying to get away from them. End of picture. Very real and vivid. Enough said. It is taken care of. Do I pray for him? Wasn't feeling led to. No words were available. So I am not going to force a prayer that is not in my spirit to do so.
Some may think that it is foolish to not report it..and believe me, I still wrestled with it...but the above picture shown to me would remind me of who do I chose to trust right there ...I am all for reporting and going to the police when it comes to violence of the same...another time and place I would have. But here with this..I am prompted to let Him have His way. Even just the other night I was in a discussion with a brother that I'd known on line for many years ..and when I was asked by him if I had gotten the police involved. I told him the above. In response in the the text chat came ''Hmmm.''
Usually whenever someone writes that in text..they are not directly saying in your face that they think your opinion is crap...but it's a subtle manipulative way way of doing so as well as trying to get you to change your view to theirs.
Funny, while we were talking in text, I remember having this prompting inside me...'Don't say too much on spiritual matters with this one..he wouldn't be able to understand you..you'll just be throwing your words to the wind.''
I sat back waiting to see what else he was going to add. Nada. Am I, or, was I surprised? Not too much.
Some Christians are just all talk and that's it. Pfft it!!
I truly and sincerely believe somehow someway, I will see a vindication and closure ..just a matter of time.
In the mean time I am grateful and thankful.
Turned off the lights and began to settle down as best as I could. Not that easy when you have a big heavy splint holding your entire arm in the bent and in frustration trying to adjust its straps to bring some comfort from the aches that follow. My life is right now on a temporary restricted hold. No more job hunting, that's on hold. Even trying to pull up my trousers or to tie my shoe laces..worse even, to take a shower is an effort itself..peeling off the splint, then putting on a sling so my sick arm stays put while I get cleaned up.things that were taken for granted..a piece of cake..I remind myself every day that I am coming out of this and soon with patience this splint would be off and back to normal.
Even through all this I am not going to complain. No, it could've been worse.
Sometimes when I lose heart..funny how He comes in with just the right reminder to not lose faith. I just love that about Him.Always on time. His time, not mine. He would put someone in my path that has experienced a more worse fate than me. And I am reminded how blessed my life is. One incident that left me humbled out of the encounter was on a day when I went to do my weekly grocery shopping accompanied by my youngest son. It was soon after my surgery. My arm was was encased in a heavy plastered cast. I couldn't bear to remain another day indoors. I had to get out..even though, I wasn't that useful to my poor son who did all the lifting and bagging at the cash register. It was still good to be outside. That morning I was having one of those weak times...the why me's. As we walked through the entrance of the supermarket. There stood this big middle aged guy leaning against the vegetable shelf right there straight ahead of me..wearing a sling and a cast....right away we made eye contact acknowledging each other's disposition. Immediately we talked briefly exchanging accounts of our injuries and I was right away humbled in myself to hear his story..both his shoulders in pain one broken and the other had some kind of problem with the joints...he has had many surgeries and constant pain day and night..(Oh shyte!!)
And I thought that I had it bad!! A little chip broken off, a pin and plate and re aligned tendons.
So humbling...this happened a few times. Not the same person..just others. You meet all sorts in that physical therapy room at the hospital and even learn humbly to give thanks and change your prayer mode. Not for self but for others who are worse off than you. I haven't really asked Jesus to heal me all the time. Just once I think, and I know that I was heard.. had the sense in my spirit that I have to go through this. And His strength keeps me and holds me as I walk through this journey. There has been a lot of lessons learnt in the process. And I am thankful to Him for it all. I have even learnt to pray for my attacker.
I know the expected route was to go report my assaulter. But when I was praying about it, I was convinced that I heard clearly...''Leave him to Me. You have a choice, go to man or trust Me.''
He opened my eyes and I had a picture of the man who violently pushed me to fall and break my elbow. I see the back of him running and screaming with his hands stopping up his ears. It is dark like he running down a dark tunnel. Right over him with large torn bat like wings were four creatures. They were devils. And they were harassing and tormenting him, tearing at him as he ran trying to get away from them. End of picture. Very real and vivid. Enough said. It is taken care of. Do I pray for him? Wasn't feeling led to. No words were available. So I am not going to force a prayer that is not in my spirit to do so.
Some may think that it is foolish to not report it..and believe me, I still wrestled with it...but the above picture shown to me would remind me of who do I chose to trust right there ...I am all for reporting and going to the police when it comes to violence of the same...another time and place I would have. But here with this..I am prompted to let Him have His way. Even just the other night I was in a discussion with a brother that I'd known on line for many years ..and when I was asked by him if I had gotten the police involved. I told him the above. In response in the the text chat came ''Hmmm.''
Usually whenever someone writes that in text..they are not directly saying in your face that they think your opinion is crap...but it's a subtle manipulative way way of doing so as well as trying to get you to change your view to theirs.
Funny, while we were talking in text, I remember having this prompting inside me...'Don't say too much on spiritual matters with this one..he wouldn't be able to understand you..you'll just be throwing your words to the wind.''
I sat back waiting to see what else he was going to add. Nada. Am I, or, was I surprised? Not too much.
Some Christians are just all talk and that's it. Pfft it!!
I truly and sincerely believe somehow someway, I will see a vindication and closure ..just a matter of time.
In the mean time I am grateful and thankful.
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